The Fetish List

Those of us who congregate on Fetlife (that wonderfully kinky social networking site) all know at least one person with a ridiculously long fetish list. You know the kind I mean; the kind that gives you a writer's cramp scrolling through it. Many of the so-called "fetishes" listed in these "War And Peace"-sized lists have nothing whatsoever to do with kink. I'm talking about things like bacon (and believe me, I have a lot of friends who list bacon as a fetish so I'm in no way saying there's anything wrong with it), zombies chasing them, and other things that don't tell you anything about what they're into, but do say a lot about their attitude towards life in general.

I have a few non-kink fetishes listed, too. I list "The Young Ones" as a fetish, although it's really not. I loved the show back in the 80's and feel nostalgic for the characters (Mike, Ric, Neil and Vyvyan) but it's not a true fetish. I also list 60's and 70's music as a fetish. I love it, yes, but if you look at the normally accepted definition of a fetish, if it were a true fetish, I would have a real problem. I list a lot of things I enjoy but they aren't real fetishes. But most of my fetishes that I list do turn me on in some way.

I list "having my spanked bottom photographed" as a fetish. This was one I created because I didn't see it listed anywhere. I love to have my bottom photographed, whether spanked or not.

There was a time though, when just the thought of having my bare bottom photographed (much less looked at) would have mortified me. I was conditioned to hate it because it was big. Then I got into the spanking scene and discovered that big butts were desired and sought after. Huh, who knew? So for me, posting photos of my bottom on my profile, knowing others will see them, is a fetish because I like that thought a lot.

Another fetish I created is "getting cool comments on my photos". I love to get comments on my photos, especially from people I've played with. Let's face it, we're all a bit on the conceited side to think that anyone is even remotely interested in looking at our photos. But of course, the short answer is that people ARE interested. If they weren't, there would be no photo option and no need for the comment button. Seeing "This pic is awesome!" under one of your photos is an instant ego boost. It makes us feel desirable, at least to someone out there in the ether. However, I don't post photos for shock value. I know a lot of people do and then they take exception when someone makes a comment they don't like. Also, by posting intimate photos of yourself on a public forum, you risk the unwanted sexual comment. There's nothing worse to me than posting an innocent photo of me getting spanked and having some horny idiot make a comment like "I'd f***k that!" If a person posts photos of their genitals, then they should expect comments like that. But spanking photos should, in my opinion, provoke comments that are spanking related.

I also created a fetish called "big tall guys with big hard hands". This is truly a fetish for me. Since I'm a big girl, I love to play with guys who are bigger than I am. That's not to say that I haven't had satisfying spanking scenes with men who are smaller than I am. That happens a lot. But my ideal spanker is over 6'4". I used to get together with a guy who was 6'6" and I loved playing with him. I loved the thought that I fit over his knee comfortably. Another guy I get together with at parties and privately is 6'8". I think he might be even taller than that because he has to duck in the doorways of our party hotel. When I find a tall, well built guy in the scene, believe me, I'm all over it.
I also list public play at parties as a fetish. Again, this is the exhibitionist in me coming out. I've always been a bit of a show off, even in my vanilla life. Playing in public gives me a charge like nothing else. I love private play, too, but nothing is as much fun and speaks to who I am more than getting spanked with people watching. At Crimson Moon parties (and most other spanking parties) the hotel usually provides a banquet room or conference room for people to use. Most groups use these rooms for eating, socializing and, most importantly, playing.
This photo was taken at the October, 2007 Crimson Moon party. I'm being strapped with a London Tanner strap (though the name of the strap escapes me). The party room was full of people and I recall that most of them enjoyed seeing me strapped over my black lace panties.



Which brings me to another fetish--pretty panties. Before I got active in the spanking scene, panties served a practical purpose. I wore them because something had to go between my flesh and my outer clothing. I usually wore the packaged kind offered by Hane's Her Way or Fruit of the Loom. I never shelled out money for expensive panties. After all, who was going to see them besides me? When I got active in the spanking party scene, I knew instinctively that pretty panties were a must. No one had to tell me.I like to go with colors that are outside what you normally see (white, pink, black and red). Lace can be tricky because it's delicate and can tear easily. All it takes at a party is one overeager top to yank those expensive panties down and they become an expensive dust cloth. I've blogged about panties before and the importance of "wrapping the package". But some guys just aren't into panties. They might say "yeah those are nice but they're coming down now." Some guys love panties. They love to look at them, touch them and spank over them. A well chosen pair of panties can sometimes make or break a scene, and I'm speaking from experience here.

A fairly new fetish for me is having my temperature taken rectally. I understand that this activity isn't everyones' cup of kinky tea. I started noticing that it was turning up in spanking videos and not just by one company either, but by many well-known spanking video producers. I became very curious about this activity, but finding someone willing to do it proved challenging. Eventually, though, a top was found who was willing and I finally had my curiosity sated.I suppose this could be considered "branching out" because it isn't really spanking, although it IS spanking related, like figging or plugs. A lot can happen with your pants down and sometimes spanking is the least of it.

Cane marks is another fetish, for me, is very real. I love the feeling of those "tram lines" after a good, hard caning. Many times I've been disappointed because there were no marks and this was often after a caning most would consider severe. The truth is, I just don't mark like I used to. It takes a lot to put marks on me these days.

These marks were the result of not playing for five months and then playing very hard to make up for it. Some of the welts are bruised but that's mostly because the strokes were to the thighs, very sensitive territory on me. I love the look of a few well-placed cane welts. Those vicious, bloody caning pictures aren't for me. There's no way I would endure that.

Basically, everything on my fetish list is important to me in some ways. And almost all of them are scene-related. What's on your fetish list? Is it time to add to it or pare it down a bit? Whichever answer is relevant to you, the most important thing to remember is to have fun with it, but don't get carried away. Or you just might end up with a fetish like "if the zombies chase us, I'm tripping you."