Monday, April 2, 2012

BMSL XV Party Report Part II

I awoke on Saturday morning a little bit ahead of my room mates. I checked my email and looked at what was going on on Fetlife. Turns out, not much was. Once K and P were up, we all got dressed and dug into the food they had packed. Everything was nice and fresh, despite not having a fridge in the room. I hadn't thought about how hungry I was. It seemed like I ate a lot more at this party than I normally do at parties. Probably because I was nervous and eating is one of my favorite coping mechanisms for dealing with nerves. I know I need to find a better way to deal with situations that make me nervous, but this wasn't the time for that. I was worried because the previous night, I had only been able to get one guy to play with me and I later learned that that was only because the man was a sadist and he enjoyed inflicting pain. Not that I minded, but I thought he might have played with me because he found me interesting and attractive. I wanted to play more than once. This was a serious blow to my ego. At Crimson Moon parties, I have to budget my time so that I can get in all the play I want. Here, I felt like the girl no one wanted to play with. As we ate, P suggested I try to make some connections at the vendor fair. It couldn't hurt. I was desperate. We finished eating and headed down to see if there was anything worth buying. I knew WhyDancer from Canes4Pain was going to be there and I looked for her table. I had made up my mind to buy a whangee cane from her. I had wanted one for the longest time, ever since I first saw them on her website. When I found her table, I saw a few whangees there. She had messaged me to let me know she would have them. We hugged and I was happy she remembered me from the one CM party she'd attended. She helped me pick a good whangee and I handed my money over for it. I loved it the moment I had it in my hand. You know, there are moments you remember for a lifetime and holding your very ownwhangee for the first time is one of them.
I couldn't wait to have it used on me. I knew those little knobs leave the coolest marks and I wanted some. The other vendors didn't seem to have anything I was interested in. However, there was a jeweler there and she had some amazing vintage stuff. I have loved antique jewelry since I discovered the "1928" line back in the early 80's. The lady selling the jewelry was busy fixing another lady's chain so I looked around some more. Then I spotted it. It was a vintage blue bumble bee pin. As soon as I saw it, I knew I had to have it. The lady was sure it was either 1940's or 1950's.

I forked over the money for the pin and felt no guilt about it. I hadn't planned on spending any more money, but I had to have that little pin. I was in no mood to deprive myself of anything. But I also knew that if I spent more, I wouldn't be able to afford my part of the room. We decided t0 head 0ver to the lounge and get some lunch. I carried the whangee cane around with me with no self-consciousness. After all, we had the entire hotel to ourselves. The restaurant staff were wearing BMSL T-shirts. They all seemed very comfortable with us. But I knew that could be an act. Working with the public is a lot like being an actor. You pretend whatever you need to pretend in order to get tips and to get your customers to come back. I loved the wonderful food, but I was getting a bit antsy to play. At a spanking party, play happens all day long. I could always find someone to play with, no matter what time of the day it was. But I knew this was no spanking party. This was a BDSM "event". There might have been private play going on, but no one was asking me to play. In fact, no one even spoke to me unless K introduced us. Then they would shake my hand politely, probably trying to figure out why they hadn't ever met me before nor seen me at an event before. Then K would tell them I was only into spanking and then they would make the connection: "she's not one of us. Believe me, I came away from that weekend more convinced than ever that I'm pretty much a pure spanko.

When we got done eating, P and I decided it was time to get cleaned up and get into our party clothes. I had packed a cute short sleeved pink top and I thought my little blue bumble bee pin would look great with it. I was acutely aware that I was the only woman wearing blue jeans. Even at spanking parties, the fact that I wear jeans gets noticed. Here, it was especially noticeable. I stood out like the proverbial sore thumb. I ended up on a chair watching the proceedings. No one was paying me any notice at all. I felt invisible. I knew this wasn't my crowd, but I had always been able to count on a certain amount of charm to get me noticed. I wasn't allowing myself to be tied to a cross and flogged so I wasn't worthy of attention. I deserved to be ignored because I wasn't allowing someone to stick needles in me or set me on fire. I felt ugly and worthless. P and I sat there, considering going back up to our room and watching television when another woman came over and introduced herself. She shook my hand and told me that her master was an experienced spanker and that she had heard I wanted a spanking. She told me that, as soon as he was finished tying up his slave, he would spank me. He didn't have many toys from what I could see, but I was interested in playing. I love to play publicly and here was my chance. I had never played in this kind of setting before, but I was willing. He was younger than I was (a lot younger) but I was used to that. When he was done with his slave, he helped her sit down and get her clothes back on. He made sure she was alright. Then he went to find a spanking bench that was unoccupied. Since he was a dom, I had to explain to him that I was just a spanko and that I wouldn't tolerate being treated like a submissive. I had him to know that I didn't want any sexual touching and I didn't want my hair pulled. He assured me he understood and told me more than once that it was all about "what you want". We found an unused bench and I took off my jeans. I was wearing a thong simply as a security blanket because I wasn't among spankos here. He started with his hand. It wasn't the best I ever had, but it was a spanking. Then he progressed to the cane he had with him (since I wasn't interested in his flogger). His caning technique needed some work, but he was actually pretty good with it. While he was in the middle of spanking me, a lady walked up to me and said "Oh Cheryl, finally!" And I knew who it was. It was my friend, Sherri, who I had been messaging with for months. She told me she was coming on a Saturday day pass. I was thrilled to meet her. She told me she recognized my bottom from all the photos I had posted to my profile on Fetlife. She was so cute, just like I pictured her. And she had her husband with her. The fact that I was getting spanked when we met will be a source of laughter for a long time, I suspect. The guy finished spanking me and then Sherri got up on the bench for a spanking from him. Unfortunately, he tried to pull her hair and almost pulled her wig off. That put a damper on the festivities. It was very uncouth of him to do that with her husband standing right there, but I guess that's how BDSM people are. I told him not to pull my hair, so the next girl that comes along is getting her hair pulled. Sherri asked him to stop and he did. Then I guess he realized that we were meeting for the first time. The four of us went off to get something to drink. She gave me two little boxes of Charlie perfume (which I expressed a fondness for and thought they didn't make any more). It was so sweet and thoughtful of her to go to the trouble. Yes, it was a small thing, but she saw how happy it made me. We had a few ice teas and then some food (it was time for the midnight munch). The night before, they had offered us cold cuts on these cute little rolls and toasted ravioli. Tonight it was egg rolls and fresh fruit. The egg rolls were so good I thought about going back through the line for seconds. We talked, mostly about silly things, but it was so nice to have a real spanko to talk to. She admitted that her husband had only taken up spanking because of her. But I told her I felt the seed had to have been there all along. Once the food was gone, we decided to go up to our room where I could show her husband my toy bag. K wasn't feeling too well but told us to go ahead and go up. Sherri and I took the stairs while everyone else went on the elevator. When we got to our room, I opened my toy bag and showed them all of my treasures. Well, he couldn't wait to break out the toys on me. We had a fun scene while the others watched. It was great to get spanked by a person that was really into it. We talked a bit about Crimson Moon, which would be Sherri's first CM party and also K and P's. We decided to let Sherri room with us. She had decided to room alone, but that would be far too expensive. She was all ready coming alone because it was cheaper for her to go than for both of them to pay the couple's fee. She had been looking for a room mate and I advised her to put it on the CM group, but not one person responded. I felt responsible. So it was decided that she should room with us. Then they had to get going because her husband had to get to work in the morning. It was all ready past one o'clock and they had a four hour drive ahead.

All in all, a bit disappointing considering the money that weekend cost me. But I did get to meet Sherri and that made it all worthwhile. I'm not sure if I'll be attending another "event" or not. If I do, I'll be sure to take some real spankos with me.

Sunday, April 1, 2012

BMSL XV Party Report

The big Beat Me In St. Louis event is now history. It was my first time attending that particular event and my first time venturing out of my Chicago/spanking comfort zone. I saw some things that opened my eyes and also had some exhilarating play.

The drive down was perfect. We couldn't have asked for better weather. We drove part of the way there with the top down it was so gorgeous. My companions were experienced when it came to this event (nowhere did I ever see it referred to as a "party") and I couldn't hide my nerves from them. My concerns were numerous. It was my first BDSM event. I'm a spanko. I don't consider myself in the BDSM scene at all and this weekend only widened the chasm as far as I'm concerned. I was afraid of what I might witness and afraid of what I might be asked to do. Since my travel companions weren't spankos, there was no real discussion about he differences. They will be attending their first spanking party this summer when they attend the Crimson Moon July party so the shoe will be on the other foot. I was also afraid that I wouldn't be able to find anyone willing to just spank me (a fear that didn't turn out to be unfounded). I knew enough about hardcore BDSMers to know that spanking to them is a warm up to other things; a side order to go with the main order. It's not the whole meal for them like it is me. I met only two people that I had met previously--WhypDancer from Canes4Pain and the violet wand guy (whose name escapes me) that I met at a previous CM party). Everyone else, save the folks I was attending with, was a complete stranger to me.

When we arrived (at around 5 pm) the entire hotel was packed with people, many of them dressed outrageously. I was accustomed to CM, where we have to be discrete because of vanilla patrons. Here, we had the whole hotel to ourselves. Clothing was, in fact, optional in all areas of the hotel except dining areas when food was actually being served. I saw only a few naked people all weekend. That first ride in the elevator in a new hotel (one that's new to me anyway) is always a bit nerve wracking. The ones in this hotel were both small and slow. I'm pretty sure the walk-in closet in my old apartment was larger. Luckily, our room was on the second floor so I figured I could take the stairs all weekend. But I had my bags with me (including my suitcase, which was heavy because my laptop was packed in it among the clothes) and I knew I wouldn't be able to drag it up even one flight of stairs. So I hopped aboard, hoping beyond hope that we didn't encounter any trouble. We made it to our room uneventfully. We were disappointed to see that the room had no refrigerator in it, as my friends had packed some cold cuts, a raw vegetable tray and cheese and also soda to sustain us. We ended up having to pack the whole thing in ice. Later in the weekend, they did send a mini-fridge up to us, but it wasn't working. Anyway, this didn't ruin the weekend. It was a minor inconvenience at most. We got our laptops plugged in and settled in for a bit of rest. I was a little tired from the drive but anxious to get registered. But first, K and I had some unfinished business. Because of something that happened previously, we both agreed I should be punished. It wasn't going to be anything extreme. Just a little reminder about something. I quickly got my pants down and K gave me 10 swats with a strap made from a piece of old conveyor belt. I got no warm up and had to count the swats (something I never do, but I agreed to do it this time). When we were almost done, I miscounted and he didn't make me start over, which he very easily could have done. But it was a party weekend and I wanted to play. He was mindful of the amount of money I'd invested and also the hardship of having to trade a weekend with someone at work. To be rendered unable to play would have been a waste of both my time and money. So we got that unpleasant business over with quickly and then went to register. Not wanting to take my whole purse down with me (because the zipper was broken and things had a habit of falling out) I stuck my ID card in my pocket. A photo ID is required at registration at all these type of events. There were security people everywhere keeping a leery eye out of for gate crashers. At registration, I had my first moment of panic. My name wasn't on the list. Oh why oh why does this always happen to me? I had registered a month previously, but because I didn't have a printer that was compatible with my laptop, I'd been unable to print the confirmation email I had received. The lady was very understanding and told me not to panic, that this happens sometimes when there are two lists. She sent me on to the next table, assuring me they would probably have a more updated list than hers and that I would more than likely be on that one. I walked on to the next table, convinced they were going to kick me out and brand me a gate crasher. But my panic was short lived. They had my name on their list and a name badge all ready made for me. To my immense relief, I slid the badge around my neck and signed the release form required by the hotel (a promise not to blame the hotel or the company that owned them if anything bad should happen to me over the course of the weekend). We then went to the lounge to get some food. I was somewhat hungry but not famished. The food did look good. But the lounge was crowded with people, most of them dressed garishly and speaking at the top of the their lungs in order to make themselves heard above the din. The food was really good and there was a lot of it. I stayed away from the sweet desserts that were offered and was proud of myself for passing on the array of cheesecakes and other goodies. After dinner, we headed upstairs to put our party clothes on. I had been in a quandary about what to pack because of not knowing what the weather was going to be like. So I packed both short and long sleeved shirts. I got dressed and put my make up on (during the course of which I managed to spill about a half a bottle of foundation on the duvet). When I got that mess cleaned up and they sent up another duvet, we ventured downstairs where the dungeon was just getting ready to open. They had a little "opening ceremony" first and then the music got cranked up. When I saw how everyone was dressed, I was reminded again about the differences between spankos and BDSMers. My jeans and glittery top would have been fine at a spanking party. But here, I felt decidedly under dressed. Most of the women (and a few of the men) were wearing corsets, fishnets, high heels and other scene attire. I felt like I stuck out like a sore thumb. No one approached me. No one even said hello to me or otherwise acknowledged my existence. I just had the sneaking feeling that, unless I approached someone, I wasn't going to get spanked all weekend. I didn't know if the men here, most of whom were doms and masters, were accustomed to women approaching them. I didn't know if a man with a collared submissive standing right there would be in any frame of mind to give a friendly spanking to a woman he'd never met before. But to be honest, all the men looked scary to me. None of them were paying me one bit of attention, but we focusing on their own little circle. At a spanking party, a new girl would be like catnip to the male tops and she would more than likely find herself surrounded by tops, most of them eager to have a go at a woman they hadn't played with before. As the night progressed, I found myself sitting on a chair watching some of the play. Some of it was interesting; some of it was hair raising; some of it was laughable. I'm not trying to knock any one's kink, but it's just not my thing. Of course, I knew going in the obstacles I faced as a "mere" spanko venturing into BDSM land. I knew I would see things that were strange to me. But I bravely went on in the hopes that I might catch the attention of one of the friendlier types. In the end, and just as I was about to call it a night, K decided to head back to the lounge, where the midnight munch was getting underway. P and I went with him, but more to keep an eye on him than because we were particularly hungry. K is diabetic and on these weekends, tends to forget his diet. So as we're heading back to our table with our plates, K spotted a dom friend of his and his sub. We had met them earlier in the evening but I can't remember if K introduced me or not. They chatted about the turn out and a few other pleasantries. During a lull in the conversation, I saw my opening and went for it.

"Do you spank?" I asked.

He blinked a few times (maybe to acclimate himself to a female speaking to him before being spoken to first) and told me yes, he did. Then K went on to explain to him that spanking was all I was into, as if I couldn't impart that information just fine myself. Maybe he felt that the man would be more inclined to play with me if he "apologized" for my being "just into spanking". I didn't want to play in the dungeon, so I asked him if he was comfortable playing in my room. Of course, he would be fine with that. I offered to let his sub come up and watch. She agreed to let me play with him if all I wanted was a spanking. I thought I had made that little fact perfectly clear. The fact that I wasn't wearing fishnet or sporting a leash or collar should have made that a dead giveaway. So we went up to our room, me telling the guy the whole way what I wanted and what I didn't want. When we got to our room, I showed him my toy bag. Now I'm justifiably proud of the toys I own. I deal only with first class toy makers. He tried not to act impressed with the vast assortment of implements that lay before him. But I could tell he approved. He pointed to a chair and instructed me to kneel on it. Oh, I was afraid of that. My knees were already hurting and I knew there was no way I was going to be able to stay in that position for long. He warmed me up by hand very nicely and then broke out the toys. He went hard with all of them and I was soon sore and red. He did offer a few token rubs between toys. But he made no conversation with me nor did he ask before using a toy on me. I guess since all the toys were my own, he must have figured I'd have no objections to having any of them used on me. Finally, I had to get off that chair. My knees were sore and making it difficult to enjoy the spanking; something I think was partly by design though I can't be sure. So he very graciously allowed me to lay over the bed for the rest of the spanking. When it was over, his sub took some pictures for me.

It was getting late and I was tired. P had been up since 4 am. But they weren't ready to turn in just yet. P had become a bit frightened with how hard I was being spanked, even though I made it clear that I was a hard player. She was obviously distressed and I must have apologized to her a dozen times. They all went back downstairs and I called it a night.

Part Two will follow tomorrow.