Thursday, March 6, 2014

And The Award Goes To...

With the Oscars being a done deal for this year, my mind is all of the sudden on acting. And I don't mean the kind the hacks in Hollywood crank out. I'm talking about all of these bottoms who spend the two months preceding a big party acting like they don't want to be spanked. OK, if you don't want a spanking, don't come to a spanking party, pretty simple really. But that's not the case. They do want to be spanked and probably spanked a lot. But here's my question: Why be coy about it and act like you don't want it when everyone knows you do? Does anyone even fall for the bad acting anyway?

I know that this is just bratting and that bratting is a tradition in the spanking scene. Heck, I used to do a little of it myself back in the old days. But a little goes a very long way. And no one is buying it anyway. Everyone knows that you don't go to the trouble and expense of attending a spanking party to hide out in your room and watch bad TV all weekend. Me? I prefer the honest approach. I like to be spanked and I can't hide that fact. So I don't even try. The problem is that the tops seem to prefer dialoguing with the girls who act like they don't like being spanked (but in reality love it as much as anyone) than someone like me who makes no secret out of it. Maybe it's because I'm older and I don't really have time for games that I find this particular dance so annoying.

When I first started in the scene, I bratted on the spanking Yahoo Group I belonged to, not because it was what I enjoyed doing, but because I saw all the other girls doing it. I came to the logical conclusion that this must be "how it's done". I was pretty good at it, too. But then, as time went on, it began to dawn on me that not everyone did it that way. The ladies doing most of the bratting were submissives who, God forbid, couldn't come out and ask for a spanking at a party so they had to create infractions on the Yahoo Group that the tops would then "punish" them for. That tradition is alive and well on Fetlife. Some of the ladies that engage in this type of pre-party banter are deserving of Oscars themselves. I'm sorry, I just can't act like I don't want to be spanked. My face gives me away every time.

Now I'm not bashing the ladies who engage in this bit of play acting. But it's just so unnecessary. Yes, I understand about networking before a party. I know we have to let the tops know we'll be there and that sometimes bratting is the best way to say "I wanna play with you". A lot of tops like the bratty approach. And I'm not knocking them either. But again, I tend to prefer the direct approach. "Hi, I'm going to be attending such and such a party and would love it if we could play together." I never put any pressure on a top to make a commitment to playing with me. Making play promises is one of the things I warn newbies against doing. This isn't because I don't think that people should make plans ahead of time when it comes to playing. I just think that it's a bad idea to "promise" someone you'll play with them because anything can happen during the course of a weekend and the last thing you want to do is hurt someone's feelings. In many ways, bratting is a kind of safety net for bottoms. "Don't forget, you promised to play with me." An extended attack of bratting isn't something a top is likely to forget. In the old Yahoo Group days, tops would threaten to print off the threads where their bratting occurred and bring the pages to parties with them as "proof" of said brat's transgression.

In the end, if you attend a spanking party, everyone knows why you're there. So all of the acting seems silly to me. But closer examination shows that bratting serves another purpose, a rather selfish purpose at that. Many brats are in some kind of relationship with a top, whether it be Daddy/little girl, Dom/sub or they might have a disciplinarian relationship. They often room together at parties. Bratting is one sure way of making sure that your top/Daddy/Dom stays busy with YOU and doesn't go off playing with other women. I have seen extreme jealousy reactions in brats at parties. It might be subtle or overt, but you can bet that jealousy is at the bottom of much of the bratting behavior that goes on. It's a way to monopolize a top's time. I have seen tops kept so busy dealing with bratting that they have no time for anything or anyone else at a party. I've seen it firsthand and been the victim of it. Scenes that were weeks or months in the making never materialized because of some brat's refusal to share the attention with someone else. This might seem an odd thing to say when you realize that much of the bratting is of the tag team variety, two or more brats teaming together to overwhelm a single top. But that's sharing with someone you're close to. I can't compete with those young 20-somethings. I don't have the looks, the charm and more importantly, the energy to even try. I'm a mature, reasonably attractive, well dressed, enthusiastic and hard playing bottom. One would think that I would have no problem finding tops to play with. On the face of it, that might be true. But in reality, many tops like a "certain kind" of bottom and I'm not her. I won't count strokes, beg, pout, whine or stand in the corner, all of which are things the tops seem to enjoy inflicting on the bottoms they play with. And I can appreciate that. Everyone is entitled to their preferences. Mouth soaping has also heightened in popularity in the last year or so, another activity I staunchly refuse to participate in. When I first started in the scene, it was barely spoken of. And you almost never saw it in videos. Now, it seems to be en vogue. It's everywhere, with groups devoted to everything from proper technique to choosing the right brand.

While I don't like to whine or throw pity parties for myself, I have come to the conclusion that the younger, more attractive tops show little interest in playing with me. My age could be a factor, but it's hardly something I can do anything about, even though I do look younger than my stated age, I used to think my weight had something to do with it, but I don't think that way anymore. Many of the younger women getting all the attention are heavier than I am. Also, I'm not one of the "cool kids" and that might cramp the style of the so-called "cool tops". I don't drink, smoke or swear so I'm fairly square as far as that goes. Maybe some tops don't like that? I certainly try not to give off a superiority vibe. Yes, I'm an old woman and yes, I don't know the names of the cool shows or the hottest actors or the band that everyone is talking about. But is that a reason to not want to spank someone? I recently purchased my first cellphone and I'm still figuring out how to work it. Because of that, I don't spend 90% of my day blowing up someone's phone with a million text messages a day. I don't text while driving...heck, I don't even drive. But I can clearly see why people don't view me as "cool". Also, I'm a Christian (and a born again one at that) and that might put some people off. While I do take my faith seriously, I don't spend party weekends proselytizing. No one needs to fear a sermon from me. But I wonder if that keeps people away?

Whatever the reason(s), I'm not an actress. I have no desire to participate in the brat attacks that are constantly happening on Fetlife. How it happens is that someone will post a picture of something that the tops will construe as bratting and then the feeding frenzy ensues. I might make an innocuous comment or two, but those are generally ignored among the brat grenades being launched. It seems to me that many of the women doing the bratting (sorry, guy bottoms but it seems to be a girl thing) are just seeking attention and perhaps reassurance that they haven't been forgotten. We all have our insecurities and do what we can to bury them. But acting is not now and has never been my thing. With me, what you see is what you get. You can take it or leave it. If a top chooses to leave it, then I just shrug and say "his loss." That's not to say that rejection doesn't sting me because it certainly does. I have feelings just like anyone else. But I'm not going to put on an act worthy of Academy consideration just to get attention. The ones for whom I'm their type will notice me. The rest will be too busy dealing with all the bratting.