Saturday, June 13, 2009

Spanking For Really Serious Offenses

Everyone in the spanking scene knows that there are standard scenarios which get played out in role play all the time. To name a few: the truant schoolgirl, the office worker who is lazy, wasteful and doesn't dress professionally, the lady unlucky enough to be caught shoplifting, and the haughty heiress being brought a few rungs by the hired help. All of this should be considered good, clean fun when it doesn't involve real life actions. Sometimes, a good role play can spice up a regular spanking scene, especially once both participants get over their self-consciousness. However, real life is and should be considered another matter.

Now I don't want my blog to turn into a constant rant about things I'm seeing on Fetlife. I promised from Day One that I would keep the sentiments expressed herein light and upbeat but above all, positive (hence, the name). But I have seen a couple of posts that have alarmed me to the point where I can't really hold my piece. Both have to do with driving---really bad driving. One gentleman posted that he was looking for "real" implements to punish his girl with because she got caught doing over twenty miles over the speed limit. The other concerned a domme who owes her "hubby" a punishment spanking for drunk driving. Another lady answered the latter thread saying that her dom was punishing her for failing to come to a complete stop at a red light or stop sign (she didn't say which it was). Let's back up here and look at these examples. First of all, getting caught doing 20 m.p.h over the speed limit is an extremely stupid thing to do. What's so important and what's the rush? If you're late for work, get up earlier. There's no need to endanger the lives of innocent people because you're afraid to get yelled at by your boss for being late. Speeding that way for something frivolous such as going shopping, tanning or to get your hair and/or nails done is absolutely unconscionable. I was on the highway the other day behind a lady with a Starbuck's cup sitting precariously on top of her car (a gold BMW). Cigi and I were nervous the whole time and were thankful when she finally turned (without giving us the benefit of a turn signal..those bothersome things). I half expected to see that cup come flying towards our windshield, but thank God, it never happened. The guy who's domme wife owes him a spanking for drunk driving...what can I say about this? I responded to her by telling her she should take away his license before he kills someone. A spanking for putting the lives of every person on the road with him in danger? You cannot be serious, lady. Both this guy and the lady who got a ticket for rolling through a red light should both have to go to a morgue and look at the remains of people who died because someone was either speeding, drunk or thought that those pesky red lights are for other people. Perhaps I'm just too much of a realist for the scene. Everyone else offered up cute and funny punishment scenarios. All I could think about was my friend, Michelle, who died on December 31, 1973 while being driven home by the man she had been babysitting for. He and his wife had no doubt been to a New Year's Eve party and were probably plastered. The drunk survived. My 13-year-old friend didn't. It was my birthday and I will never forget how I was affected by her death. She blond, blue eyed and pretty; all the things I wish I had been at that awkward age. All I could remember of her funeral was that it was closed casket because her beautiful face had been pulverised by the windshield and there had been no way to fix it.
So when I see people who suggest a spanking for very serious offenses, I think it's pretty obvious that they have never had something tragic like this happen in their own lives. Or they're so insensitive or so immersed in the fantasy that reality never gets a chance to penetrate their brains. To my way of thinking, spanking is too good for them, even a very unpleasant one. Maybe some jail time would help them remember to use their heads in the future and to remember that we all share the road.
Sorry this one was pretty serious tonight. I have had this on my mind for a few days now. But never fear. A CM party is approaching so I expect the Fun Factor to increase significantly.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Am I Vanilla?

I have been on Fetlife for seven or eight months now. For those of you who don't know what Fetlife is, it's a place for kinsters to start groups and post their thoughts. It's run totally by kinky people, too, so there's no need to worry about your group or your photos being deleted because of "adult content". Now everyone who knows me knows that I'm a pure spanko. I don't do discipline or punishment spankings, I don't have a dom nor am I accountable to a disciplinarian. It seems to me that I'm really very much different from the other women on Fetlife--or at least most of them. Most of them go on and on about how their dom cherishes them (even though he's a sadistic S.O.B) and about how their "daddy" treats them like a little princess (between bouts of oral sex apparently). I can't relate to any of this. I can't relate to giving another human being control over aspects of my life that have always been my domain. I can't relate, as a 48-year-old woman, to having someone think I still need spankings to keep me in line. And I certainly can't relate to someone thinking I'm going to call him daddy or uncle when they aren't related to me. Honestly, it boggles my mind to think of some of the things I've seen posted there. And don't get me started on the photos. Yahoo would go into a frenzy of deletions if they ever got a peek at some of the photos on there. Many, that I can't even bear to look at, are referred to as art. OK, my idea of art may be different from some people's. Apparently, a picture of a woman tied from head to toe with red rope is right up there with Michelangelo's Pieta. I'm sorry, but the picture of the woman bound with red rope (lovely as it is) doesn't move me in quite the same way as the Pieta does. Ditto for pictures of men having their privates tortured.

So having said all this, I really have to ask myself: Am I vanilla? Because I get spanked only because I like it and it's fun, does that mean that I'm doing it wrong? Because I don't need a dom to order me around and make all of my decisions for me, do I not qualify as kinky? Or because I don't need to be held accountable to a man who's just as human as I am and therefore just as flawed? Or because every spanking I engage in doesn't end in sex, am I not really a spanko? I really have no idea what the answers to these questions are. And, until very recently, they weren't even a major concern of mine. But it seems like almost every time I post a response to a thread, I'm the only one who seems to have her head in the real world. Everyone else seems to have on the heavy duty rose colored glasses. And I'm beginning to think more and more that people resent my responses. In the middle of all that fantasy, there's my little post about being safe and making sure the person spanking you knows what he's doing. And what happens? I'm either ignored--glossed over until the reader comes to a post full of more fantasy junk--or I'm derided for daring to suggest a dom may not know what he's doing. I admit I'm not much of a romantic. Just too darn practical I guess. But it sure seems to me that the women in the scene lose their heads way too easily over men who call themselves a dom or master. I mean, all a guy has to do is post a picture of himself in a black vest carrying a flogger and they all just melt. Am I the only one who shrugs and says "Whatever blows your hair back"?
In the end, I have to be true to myself. But it sure makes me wonder.