Saturday, March 21, 2015

When Life Hands You Lemons

There's no way around it; sometimes you just have to make the best of a bad situation. Nowhere is that point driven home better than that old axiom "When life hands you lemons, make lemonade". 

"But Cheryl," I  can hear you all grumbling, "what does that have to do with spanking?"

Well, allow me to explain. Long time readers of these pages have heard me lamenting at other times that I never got to be a young woman in the spanking scene. Yeah, life's not fair. I get that. I learned that lesson a very long time ago. 

I was simply born at the wrong time. There's no getting around that. When I was a cute 20-year-old, there was no spanking scene (at least, not here in the States). Even if there had been, I lacked the confidence and the resources to participate. There was also no internet. In those days (the early 80's) there were three ways to meet men if you were kinky:

1) Go to an adult book store and put an ad on the bulletin board with your name, phone number and what you're into.
2) Put an ad in an adult magazine or newspaper.
3) Pick up a guy in a bar and hope he wasn't an axe murderer.

You can see how limited our resources were. We didn't even have cellphones in those days so there was no texting going on. If you did actually meet a guy and wanted to talk to him, you had to exchange phone numbers. People had to actually "date" in those days. However, none of the young men I met were interested in spanking me. 

The above photo was taken at a friend's completely seedy house during a party. The smoke should be a cue that I'm smoking and I was. But not a cigarette. I was stoned out of my gourd here. I did many things in my youth that I regret now because of drugs and alcohol. There's no way that I would have made the right decisions to be safe in the scene; especially since drugs and alcohol were a part of my everyday life back then. Maybe if I had been sober I would see things differently. Anyway, that's another thing that's unfair about life: you never really know the things you're missing until somehow the years of your life show them to you. 

In every other way, I've always said that I was born at the perfect time. I was fully able to enjoy the 70's and most of the 60's (though as a child). The music was awesome, the cars were cool, the television was groovy and the toys were the best. But...there's that small regret. Time marches on and it has taken its toll on me in many ways. The years have been kind in regards to my looks, I'll be the first to admit. Many women my age look every bit of it. I'm don't think it's bragging to say that. Lots of people that I meet are surprised when they learn how old I am. So I don't want anyone to get the idea that I'm just feeling sorry for myself here. I do have some blessings to count. But when I see the excitement of the young people just coming into the scene, I do feel just a pang of remorse over when I was born. I would give almost anything to be a young person in the scene today--with all the advantages of social media, Smartphones and texting. There are times I feel like a dinosaur. I don't understand the appeal of most of the new shows that young people watch. I don't understand their taste in music at all. I don't get the new films that they Tweet about. But I still know how to enjoy myself, although I'm sober these days.

Now, saying all this, I have to say that we older folks do serve a purpose in the scene. We should be there to give advice when it's asked for. After all, if they have the advantage of youth, we have the advantage of experience. And young people should remember that they're walking a road that was paved for them, the same as it was for us by the ones who came before us. 

As a teen (I was 18 when the above photo was taken), I think part of my problem was that I hung around people a lot older than me. In the photo here, I'm dressed to go fishing with my grandfather. I spent a lot of time with my Paw Paw while he lived. He and I had some awesome talks while our fishing lines bobbed in the water. Because I spent so much time with older folks, I think I had a maturity that most of the people I knew who were my age lacked. My mother always used to say I was an "old soul", meaning I never really acted my age. I always acted older and more mature than my age. Maybe that's another reason that some of the young people in the scene get on my nerves a little. Behavior that I would never dream of engaging in happens all the time at parties. People just shrug and say "They're young". Well, so was I once. I think the difference is that I had people around me who put the brakes on my behavior before it became destructive. Even in my worst days of alcoholism and pill popping I never really hurt anyone but myself. I never drove drunk or reported for work under the influence. Even when I was drunk my common sense never got overridden by my stupidity. 

So getting down to brass tacks here, I have to say that today I feel a bit sad that never got to be a 21 year old at her first party. Nothing will ever change that. Well, not unless someone really does learn how to make a time machine out of a Delorean. In the meantime, I'll just have to make lots of this:

And it's a good thing I like the taste of lemonade. So if you see me with a sour look on my face, just put down to lemonade. I'll just go on, trying my best to make the best of a less than ideal situation. The spanking scene will go on after I hang up my canes. I'll go on enjoying parties when I feel like attending. But oh, to be a young lady getting all of that attention!


Sweetspot said...

Hi Cheryl
I've been reading your blog since Myth vs. Reality. I thought it was unfair of me to enjoy something so much without at least letting you know how much I appreciate your efforts. I could just go on and on about this latest entry. I won't do that but I will say that I'm thankful that you've come to realize that experience counts for a lot. Sadly, I don't have youth or experience. It's not that I'm shy it's more because I'm a wimp. the only top in the world that needs a safe word. Anyway, I've gone back and read many of your older posts (your testimony is very good)and realized how close we are to each other in the mid-west. You inspired me to make a page on Fetlife. There you go! Your experience really is a blessing and an influence.
(I just did a preview of this comment; that's not me in the photo, I'm a guy.)

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