I freely admit it. I love everything about being female. When I was a little girl, I played in my mother's make up and jewelry and also her clothes. My mother was a real lady. She dressed the way young women of her generation usually dressed--in gloves and hats whenever she ventured out. She wore make up sparingly (powder and lipstick mostly) because only "certain" kinds of women painted their faces. Old photos of her and my dad together make me think they were the perfect 50's couple. She was petite, slender and busty; just the way men liked them in those days. My father was handsome (though not dashing) and rugged. He used Brylcream in his hair, but then who didn't in those days? They were a gorgeous couple. My mother loved being a woman and she made sure my two sisters and I saw that there was nothing wrong with being female. There was no reason in her mind why a girl shouldn't dream every bit as big as a boy. She was hard working and ambitious for her children. But she was also patient and had the kindest heart of anyone I ever knew. She taught us girls to learn to do for ourselves. She saw that times were changing and that there might not always be a man around to fix the plumbing or change the tire.
Fast forward to now. My mother died the day after Valentine's Day, 1993 at the age of only 58. But I think I owe a lot of what I am today to her. She taught me that femininity was anything but a curse (that nasty monthly thing aside). I played sports in my youth but made sure that I always behaved like the lady my mother raised me to be. I didn't use bad language (my grandmother said it was "common"). I respected my coaches and others who were in authority over me. My mother raised a very good daughter. Because of her, I love all the trappings of being a woman--shoes, make up, jewelry, body spray, hair clips, pretty panties, etc. Now that doesn't mean that I go for some of the ultra-feminine things I have seen since I got into the scene. I don't go for stockings and garter belts. Nor do I like overly lacy things. Too delicate for my sensibilities. However, I do love going to spanking parties and packing some nice panties for the weekend. And I absolutely love smelling good. I will admit to being somewhat of an aroma junkie. A girl can never have too many things that make her smell good. My ex-roommate was driven to the brink of insanity by the sheer number of bottles of shampoo and body wash that took up room in our tiny linen closet. And despite having short hair, I have a box full of hair clips which Cigi refers to as "girly clips". When I had long hair I always had something in it, whether it was a barrette or a ponytail holder. I found the habit hard to break when I cut my hair short. I wear a clip with crystals in it so that I don't have to wear jewelry if I want some sparkle. A friend that I used to work with called me the girliest girl she knew simply because I had a tube of lip gloss attached to my key chain (I worked in an office then and needed a key). I assured her it was simply for practicality's sake. The air was dry and my lips would crack if I didn't keep them moisturized. And anyway, who is SHE calling girly? She kept a lavender eyelash curler in her locker.
Anyway, the point I'm really trying to make with all this meandering is that being in the scene has made appreciate my femininity all the more. Yes, sometimes it's a drag to have to shave and pluck and tweaze. And yes, there are times I wish I wasn't a slave to hair color. But you know what? I really wouldn't have it any other way.
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