At the end of this month, I'll be moving out of the town I grew up in. All of this is happening because of circumstances beyond my control. My roommate isn't going to be returning to work anytime soon due to a stroke suffered after open heart surgery. So his mother is taking him back to Arizona to live with her. When she told me this, I went into severe panic mode. I pictured myself as one of those homeless women I see: ragged, dirty and pushing all of her meager possessions in a stolen shopping cart. I don't have any family that can put me up. Plus, I'm still jobless. This is what mostly prompted the move. Luckily, a scene friend has a spare room that he's willing to rent to me. I have some savings so I'm not totally broke. The area where I will be moving to is more affluent than where I live now so the job market is probably better. I can more than likely get hired at the Lowe's there (the nice company that fired me).
However, my main fear is leaving the place where I was born and grew up. I'm excited but scared at the same time. This could be the best thing that's ever happened to me. I'm going to think positively. This move will put me closer to parties as well so that helps. The loss of my twin, my best friend leaving for Arizona and my lack of family really all sort of combined to make me realize that there's really no good reason for me to stay in Peoria. My older sister wasn't happy to hear the news. She wants me to put in my application at the hospital where she works. Yeah, I really want to spend my days cleaning up "Code Browns" and scrubbing puke off the floors. I hate hospitals and have no intention of working in one. I think it's time to make a clean breast of it. I'll be 50 in four months and, aside from getting active in the spanking scene, I've played it safe all my life. It's time for me to find out who I am and to see if I can make a life away from Peoria. Now starts the arduous task of letting people know I'm moving, filling out change of address forms, informing the phone company and the electric company and all the other unpleasantness associated with moving. The last time I moved was about four years ago when Cigi and I decided to put our house on the market and move into an apartment. We had decided it was time to move. And I had her to help me. She was always way more practical and knowledgeable about things than I was. I'm sure I depended on her too much and that's why, when she died, I felt so totally lost. I mean I do have help, but this time, instead of moving across town, I'm moving upstate. I know the city fairly well, having attended a number of parties there. In fact, it looks a little bit like Peoria. Well, it looks like the nicer part of Peoria. I have quite a few scene friends there, too. I'm not too sure who I can count on at this juncture, but I think this is going to turn out well. I just need to get past the butterflies and be confident. Yeah, wish me luck on that one.