Thursday, March 25, 2010

A Play Date Not Exactly From Hell

Yesterday afternoon, I got together with a guy to play. It was the first time we'd met, although we'd chatted extensively. He had wanted to take Cigi and I out for our birthday last New Year's Eve, but we'd both been down sick with bronchitis and so we opted out. This had been the first time that my schedule had cooperated enough for him to come down and play. He lives in the Chicagoland area (like so many of the men I meet and play with) so there was some travel involved. For me, the preparations were much more involved.
First of all, yesterday was y first day off in more than a week. Because of that, the apartment needed some attention. I worked until 11 o'clock Tuesday night so I couldn't do my housework then. With Cigi and our roommate both sound asleep, I thought it would have been rude of me to run the vacuum at that hour. So I got up around 8 am on Wednesday and went and got a haircut first. I hadn't had one since January and needed one badly. I got my usual pixie cut and then went to a nearby grocery store to get some quarters for the laundry. I had to have something clean to wear, after all, and laundry, along with vacuuming, dishes, dusting and the cat boxes all showed signs of my neglect. I got busy with the dishes first and then vacuumed in preparation for using the steamer on a couple of areas on the carpet. I wanted the place to not only look good but also smell good. I'm accustomed to the smell of four cats living in my two-bedroom apartment but someone else might notice an odor that I don't detect. So the carpet got shampooed.
After getting a load of laundry and the cleaning done, I had to color my freshly cut hair. I'm passed the point where my hair could be considered salt and pepper. It's more like mostly salt now with a little pepper left over. To be honest, if my play date was someone I knew well I might have skipped this step in the beautification process. However, I was meeting this guy for the first time and I wanted to look my best in order to make a good first impression. While I was sitting with hair color on my head, he called for the first time. He wanted to let me know he had gotten on the road late and that it would be later than we'd agreed on when he arrived. I wasn't too upset about that. I still had other things to do so this was actually advantageous to me. It seemed all of my play plans go like this: I spend part of the day getting the apartment cleaned up and the rest of the day getting myself prettied up. Of course, this part didn't take as long when I was younger.
About three o'clock he arrived. We sat on my well worn couch and talked for awhile--about things in general and Cigi's illness. She had decided not to join us that afternoon. She was having chemo the next day and wanted to rest up. She would join us later for dinner though. He was OK to talk to but his spanking technique was a major disappointment. I like the spanking to have a nice, brisk rhythm at some point, but he never got there. His philosophy, apparently, is to keep the rhythm choppy and "unnatural" (as he put it). His thinking is that if the spanking gets into a predictable rhythm then the bottom will anticipate the spanks and tense up. I explained to him that I had found the opposite to the be the truth. At least, in my own experience. Secondly, he didn't like to use toys. He considered himself a hand spanker. I really have no problem with this since some of my favorite spankers only use their hand. But his technique was just so unorthodox that I thought a toy might help. So I picked a nice leather paddle from the London Tanners and he did sort of develop a rhythm. But then he would stop spanking me and talk. I enjoy good conversation with my spanking but please don't stop spanking me. All in all, I was disappointed. But you have to expect that not every play date will go off without a hitch or be the stuff you dream about. There was nothing wrong with him that a little practice wouldn't help.
Play dates happen this way sometimes. I think I was a disappointment to him as well. I' not his preferred type, first of all. He likes subs (and small ones at that) and I'm about as far from that as you can get. I think my apartment was a disappointment to him, too. He lives in an affluent suburb and my threadbare little apartment probably didn't measure up. In fact, he told me that one of his townhouses is bigger than my whole apartment (and had a basement to boot). When we went out to dinner (to my favorite Chinese buffet) he wanted me to sit on one of the hard chairs that the restaurant has. But Cigi, quick thinker that she is, settled us in a booth with nice soft seats. Now the reason I didn't want a hard chair, as I pointed out to him, had nothing to do with having a sore bottom. I have arthritis in my hips and the cool, damp weather was wreaking havoc with it. He smiled knowingly, as if to tell me he knew the REAL reason I'd opted to sit on a soft seat: his spanking had simply been too much for me. Yeah, right. I think my pain tolerance disappointed him, too. I think it was much too high for his taste. I expect he wanted to hear me "ooching" and "owing" instead of acting like I wanted it harder, which he did his best to accommodate (with a large number of mishits as a consequence). I think he was more accustomed to playing with subs, who were less likely to point out the fact that some of his spanks missed the mark, than a bottom like me who's going to let him know that one or two were on the tailbone. In fact, he argued with me once, telling that one of the spanks I pointed out as a mishit was "nowhere close" to my tailbone. I told him I knew where it was and he'd hit it. I've had it broken before by a clueless top who didn't care. I wasn't in the mood for another trip to the emergency room. I think he sensed we just weren't compatible. He wasn't going to give me the kind of spanking I wanted and I wasn't going to be the kind of spankee he wanted. He did, however, get our car started. So I'm grateful to him for that. However, I don't think I'll be getting together with him again any time soon. It's not that I dislike him. It's just that our styles don't really mesh. He's one of the few men that I've just had no chemistry with.
Doesn't it sometimes just go that way when it comes to play dates? You spend a certain amount of time thinking about what it'll be like, you spend a lot of time getting your space and yourself just right and then things just don't go how you imagined it. I wouldn't label this one a disaster but it wasn't a success either. Ah and learn as I always say.

Thursday, March 18, 2010


I've been a wrestling fan for many years now. Since before the days when it was called "sports entertainment". I'm talking about the mid-70's when the AWA (out of Minnesota) used to hold a monthly card at one of our local high schools. The AWA was run by former NCAA champion Verne Gagne. His son, Greg Gagne and his tag team partner, Jim Brunzell, were my first crushes. They were aerial artists of the highest order; meaning you would see a lot of drop kicks from them. Greg would use his father's signature move, The Gagne Sleeper, on opponents who had been sufficiently softened up. The guys were physical and knew how to get things done in the ring. But alas, there was never a spanking. Probably because there were no women around back then. At least, not in the AWA. That came later.

In 1981, the late David von Erich gave a quick, no nonsense spanking to Sunshine, the valet of his opponent, Jimmy Garvin. This happened in Texas in the old World Class promotion. After that, the floodgates opened. Women were getting spanked left and right it seemed. At least in the South they were. In November, 1989, after World Class had changed its name to USWA, Billy Joe Travis gave what was probably the first bare bottom spanking in wrestling history to Toni Adams, the then wife of Gentleman Chris Adams. At the time, Adams had a protege named Steve Williams, who would later change his name to Steve Austin and become one of the most popular wrestlers of all time. Billy Joe was a man ahead of his time. As far as I know, no unedited version of this spanking exists (except maybe in the safe at the home of the person who was the production manager). I've seen the edited version and it looks like it was a pretty good one. Billy Joe had taken the trouble to handcuff Toni's hubby to the ropes in order to keep in out of the way while he got his mitts on the gorgeous Toni. A few years later, after Toni and Chris had divorced and Toni had turned heel, Billy Joe's former tag team partner, Jeff Jarrett, spanked Toni himself while she was wearing a maid's outfit. Jeff also had a great reputation as a spanker. But the man who, in my opinion, stands head and shoulders above the rest in terms of spanking is Sandman. This guy has spanked every woman you can name (and a few you can't) in wrestling.

I've seen literally dozens of pictures of this guy spanking women. He must hold some kind of record. Now, when it comes to the other side of the coin, I don't think any woman has been spanked more than Francine has. The Queen Of Extreme has been over the knees of almost every wrestler in ECW history.

In this photo (and it's poor quality to boot) Rick Rude does the honors. But Francine got spanked a lot--usually for turning on her man and allowing him to be cold-cocked by his opponent and then strolling off on the arm of said opponent. This woman had no loyalty. Faithful ECW fans took to making up cheers about her.
Unfortunately, male on female spanking seems to have gone the way of two-out-of-three falls matches. It hardly exists anymore. Most of the spanking these days is girl on girl; mostly to titillate wrestling's major demographic, males aged 18 to 34. It's really too bad that this happened. Wrestling is more boring for this change. Where once we were treated to Diamond Dallas Page spanking his wife, Kim, on national television, now we're more likely to get two women who look more like they belong in porn films than in a wrestling ring spanking each other. Sorry, but that just does nothing for me.
I've lost interest in wrestling these days. My Monday nights are no longer taken up with Raw is War or Smackdown. Gone are the days when The Rock and Stone Cold Steve Austin passed the title belt back and forth between them. My main disappointment was never getting to see the delightfully spankable Stephanie McMahon (the daughter of WWE head Vince McMahon) get spanked. It would have been awesome but, alas, it never happened. At least, not that I know of. If it has, would someone please let me know? I so miss those days.

Monday, March 15, 2010

Photo Ops

I was having a pleasant chat the other day with a gentleman that I admittedly don't know very well. He happened to see my Fetlife profile and commented that he liked looking at my pictures "very much". Now I wasn't quite sure how to respond to that. "Very much" has a number of connotations to it, especially here in the spanko world. It could mean exactly it says. Of course, it could also mean that the person is (and I say this delicately) gratifying himself while he looks at your pictures. I was afraid to ask which one he meant so I just said thank you and left it at that.

When you put a profile on Fetlife, anyone can see it. It's not like the Yahoo groups, where you have to be linked to the person whose profile you want to see. I could never understand why they did that. How on earth are you supposed to know if someone interests you unless you look at their profile. I mean, what happens? You come across a member and say "I'll bet she has an interesting profile. Think I'll email her and ask if I can see it." Then, as the lady who gets the request, how do you respond? Do you write the guy back and hope he's not an axe murderer? Do you ignore him and then hope he wasn't the man you've been looking for? The whole thing is very hit or miss to me. At least on Fetlife you can see each other. Of course, there's a drawback to that. People may see you that you don't want to see you. For this reason, you have to be careful about what kinds of photos you post. I admit I have pictures of my spanked bottom on my profile but those pictures serve a two-fold purpose. First of all, it shows that I'm who I say I am. And second, that I really do get together with people and play. It's really important for me that people know that I'm "real" and not just someone who does everything cyber only. In fact, I pretty much hate cyber anything. My least favorite are men who write to me requesting to be my "cyber dom". They tell me how I will be required to dress at all times (a few have said that, while we're chatting, I will not be allowed to wear clothes!) and how I must address them and so on. I just laugh at those guys and tell them that they're barking up the wrong tree. I actually had one guy tell me that he thought I was submissive because, well, I let people spank me, don't I? Of course, you nitwit. But I get spanked because I enjoy it. And the more you try to tell that to some guys, the more they become convinced that you're just in denial about what you "really" want. In fact, I once had a guy send me a message saying "Why don't you list what your REAL fetishes are? All the things you listed are vanilla, sweetheart!" I was annoyed, to put it mildly, but wrote him back telling him that spanking is my REAL fetish. He said he was disappointed by that. That he thought his excellent powers of domination could just somehow make me "want" to change my fetishes to "please" him. Can you believe how egotistical some people are? I actually had another dom (this guy was obviously a master!) who wrote me a very stern message telling me that he found my photos "unacceptable" because I was "hiding from him". When I asked him what he meant by that, he wrote me back saying that he "needed" to see my private parts and breasts, the parts I'm most "ashamed of". Then I would not be withholding anything from him. I laughed and told him to have a nice life. If he didn't find my photos acceptable he didn't have to look at them.

I should've seen this guy coming. But living here in the Midwest, where we have a lot of tornadoes, I should also have remembered that sometimes you don't see the twister until it's right in front of you. The truth of the matter is that I was having such a good time going back and forth with this guy that I didn't see that next part coming.

In fact, this guy at least had the decency to cover his horniness in dom speak. You know, when he was telling me "Let me see it all and don't hide yourself from me". Other guys have just said "Boy, it sure would be nice to see what's between those legs you keep closed so tight, honey." At least they're being honest. They just want to see it because they're horny guys. They don't couch their desires in that idiotic "don't hide anything from me" dom crap.

Photos can be a lot of fun. A great way to remember the fun of a party, a play date, a memorable session. It's just a matter of being careful what you show and being careful about what you decide not to show. Someone will always take exception to either scenario.