Monday, March 15, 2010

Photo Ops

I was having a pleasant chat the other day with a gentleman that I admittedly don't know very well. He happened to see my Fetlife profile and commented that he liked looking at my pictures "very much". Now I wasn't quite sure how to respond to that. "Very much" has a number of connotations to it, especially here in the spanko world. It could mean exactly it says. Of course, it could also mean that the person is (and I say this delicately) gratifying himself while he looks at your pictures. I was afraid to ask which one he meant so I just said thank you and left it at that.

When you put a profile on Fetlife, anyone can see it. It's not like the Yahoo groups, where you have to be linked to the person whose profile you want to see. I could never understand why they did that. How on earth are you supposed to know if someone interests you unless you look at their profile. I mean, what happens? You come across a member and say "I'll bet she has an interesting profile. Think I'll email her and ask if I can see it." Then, as the lady who gets the request, how do you respond? Do you write the guy back and hope he's not an axe murderer? Do you ignore him and then hope he wasn't the man you've been looking for? The whole thing is very hit or miss to me. At least on Fetlife you can see each other. Of course, there's a drawback to that. People may see you that you don't want to see you. For this reason, you have to be careful about what kinds of photos you post. I admit I have pictures of my spanked bottom on my profile but those pictures serve a two-fold purpose. First of all, it shows that I'm who I say I am. And second, that I really do get together with people and play. It's really important for me that people know that I'm "real" and not just someone who does everything cyber only. In fact, I pretty much hate cyber anything. My least favorite are men who write to me requesting to be my "cyber dom". They tell me how I will be required to dress at all times (a few have said that, while we're chatting, I will not be allowed to wear clothes!) and how I must address them and so on. I just laugh at those guys and tell them that they're barking up the wrong tree. I actually had one guy tell me that he thought I was submissive because, well, I let people spank me, don't I? Of course, you nitwit. But I get spanked because I enjoy it. And the more you try to tell that to some guys, the more they become convinced that you're just in denial about what you "really" want. In fact, I once had a guy send me a message saying "Why don't you list what your REAL fetishes are? All the things you listed are vanilla, sweetheart!" I was annoyed, to put it mildly, but wrote him back telling him that spanking is my REAL fetish. He said he was disappointed by that. That he thought his excellent powers of domination could just somehow make me "want" to change my fetishes to "please" him. Can you believe how egotistical some people are? I actually had another dom (this guy was obviously a master!) who wrote me a very stern message telling me that he found my photos "unacceptable" because I was "hiding from him". When I asked him what he meant by that, he wrote me back saying that he "needed" to see my private parts and breasts, the parts I'm most "ashamed of". Then I would not be withholding anything from him. I laughed and told him to have a nice life. If he didn't find my photos acceptable he didn't have to look at them.

I should've seen this guy coming. But living here in the Midwest, where we have a lot of tornadoes, I should also have remembered that sometimes you don't see the twister until it's right in front of you. The truth of the matter is that I was having such a good time going back and forth with this guy that I didn't see that next part coming.

In fact, this guy at least had the decency to cover his horniness in dom speak. You know, when he was telling me "Let me see it all and don't hide yourself from me". Other guys have just said "Boy, it sure would be nice to see what's between those legs you keep closed so tight, honey." At least they're being honest. They just want to see it because they're horny guys. They don't couch their desires in that idiotic "don't hide anything from me" dom crap.

Photos can be a lot of fun. A great way to remember the fun of a party, a play date, a memorable session. It's just a matter of being careful what you show and being careful about what you decide not to show. Someone will always take exception to either scenario.

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