Like many of you out there, I think about my life in two ways: the way it was before I got active in the scene and how my life has changed since I made that decision. I sat down recently and made a serious effort to list the ways my life has changed, both for better and worse.
Before I got into the scene, my life pretty much consisted of working full time, bowling once a week in a league (I was pretty good at it by the time I finally had to give it up---for lack of free time LOL), scavenging the flea markets and antique malls looking for the glass I collected and watching baseball on television. Pretty lame, huh? My circle of friends was small and their lives were just as lame as mine. I was ready for a change. By the time I finally got hooked up to the Internet, I was 40-years-old and knew that something had to happen or I was always going to have this kind of life.
Actually, my twin sister was the catalyst for this change. One day she told me she had found a Yahoo group that was located in our home state and that they not only had a mailing list, but actually got together for parties. And they welcomed new members. So we made a deal. She would join the group, post a little and see if she created any interest. She chose the scene name Cigi (sort of her initials spelled out) and started posting. Sure enough, people were interested. There was a party approaching and a couple of members saw to it that she got to attend. I had to work that weekend and sat by jealously while she packed for her trip. She returned that Sunday and came to my place of business to tell me how it had gone. She told me excitedly "You HAVE to join! I told everyone I had a twin!" So two months later, I attended my first party. Some of my feelings about that were discussed in my previous entry. I chatted with people and made play dates and finally had the busy social life I wanted. But that wasn't the only way my life changed. I met people who were far more sophisticated than I was. I've met people from New York to California. I've met people from England, Ireland, China and South Africa. This is a life I never even imagined. I could never go back to being that pathetic person I was--a person whose fantasies went unfulfilled. Ten years ago (if blogs had existed then) I would never have put my private feelings out there for others to read. Now I feel more confident and sure of myself. Why? Because I get spanked. It's hard to explain, but summoning the courage to take that first step gave me the courage to do other things I thought I was too afraid to try. I'm not saying I've taken up skydiving or anything, but I've made some other changes that I would never have had the courage to make had it not been for getting into the scene.
So just like those pictures of people who have lost a lot of weight, before and after can sometimes be startling.